> Recent Entries
> Archive
> Friends
> User Info
> previous 20 entries

July 23rd, 2008

08:35 pm - Yoinked from Starmind because it was so damn funny..... "Service I became confused when I heard these terms which reference the word 'service'. Internal Revenue 'Service' U.S. Postal 'Service' Telephone 'Service' T.V. 'Service' Civil 'Service' City & County Public 'Service' Customer 'Service' This is not what I thought 'service' meant. But today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to 'service' a few cows. BAM!!! It all came into perspective. I now understand what all those 'service' agencies are doing to us." Current Mood: amused

(Leave a comment)

July 4th, 2008

11:58 am - Because it amused me 118 As a 1930s wife, I am Very Superior Take the test! Current Mood: amused

(Leave a comment)

May 27th, 2008

03:15 pm - This is what it's *really* like..... Three women friends, one in a casual relationship, one en- gaged to be married and one a long-time wife, met for drinks after work. The conversation eventually drifted towards how best to spice up their sex lives. After much discussion, they decided to surprise their men by engaging in some S&M role playing. The following week they met up again to compare notes. Sipping her drink, the single girl leered and said, "Last Friday at the end of the work day I went to my boyfriend's office wearing a leather coat. When all the other people had left, I slipped out of it and all I had on was a leather bodice, black stockings and stiletto heels. He was so aroused that we made mad passionate love on his desk right then and there!" The engaged woman giggled and said, "That's pretty much my story! When my fiancé got home last Friday, he found me waiting for him in a black mask, leather bodice, black hose and stiletto pumps. He was so turned on that we not only screwed all night, he wants to move up our wedding date! The married woman put her glass down and said, "I did a lot of planning. I made arrangements for the kids to stay over at Grandma's. I took a long scented-oil bath and then put on my best perfume. I slipped into a tight leather bodice, a black garter belt, black stockings and six-inch stilettos. I finished it off with a black mask. When my husband got home from work, he grabbed a beer and the remote, sat down and yelled, 'Hey, Batman, what's for dinner?'" *snicker* Current Mood: amused

(1 comment | Leave a comment)

May 6th, 2008

10:44 am - This Amused me Enough to Post Your Tax Rebate: The federal government is sending each and everyone of us a $600 rebate.. If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China . If we spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs. If we purchase a computer it will go to India . If we purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico , Honduras , and Guatemala . If we purchase a car it will go to Japan . If we purchase other useless crap it will go to Taiwan ...and none of it will help the American economy. The only way to keep that money here at home is to buy prostitutes, weed, beer, bourbon, and tattoos, since these are the only products still produced in the USA . Thank you for your help & please support the US . Current Mood: amused

(8 comments | Leave a comment)

April 14th, 2008

(Leave a comment)

March 8th, 2008

09:47 pm - My laugh for today, and hopefully yours.... A doctor was addressing a large audience in Calgary. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese Food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?" After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, "Wedding Cake." Current Mood: amused

(2 comments | Leave a comment)

March 2nd, 2008

08:45 pm - You know... It's REALLY kind of disturbing to watch a snake eat a mouse without it having had constricted it first. Constricting it essentially kills the mouse so it isn't wriggling anymore. Watching the mouse go down while still doing said wriggling, done fast enough that the mouse was still in it's final struggles while IN the snake, enough that you could SEE the mouse writhing in the snake, is very very VERY creepy. However, I'll say it again.... Snakes are one of the COOLEST pets on the earth to have the pleasure of owning. Current Mood: contemplative

(11 comments | Leave a comment)

February 28th, 2008

08:13 pm - Watch it. Seriously, it's THAT good. Okay, maybe not as COOL as the horse dancing, but still pretty freaking awesome! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqbVbPvlDoM&eurl=http://widget-6a.slide.com/widgets/sf.swf Current Mood: amused

(4 comments | Leave a comment)

February 25th, 2008

01:28 pm - I have to post this for posterity's sake.. My middle son has been having ongoing issues. Most of you know this. Most of you also know that I've done just about everything I can to cope/deal/cure this. As a next to last resort at dealing with his behavior, I started him on lowered doses of valerian. Now, we didn't tell him, or any of the other kids, what it was *supposed* to do for him as I want to see unbiased results one way or another. If it doesn't work on him, then I stop it, but if it DOES.... well.. it might be the break we need to get through to him. One capsule at bed time and one in the morning, kicks in right about the time he gets to school. Last night, I give him his dose and his older brother walks up to him and looks him in the face for a second. Then he reaches up and pushes the younger sons' mohawk up and away from his forehead. He then asks the younger one " Is it working?" and then looks at me to ask the same question, then turns back to examine the younger ones hair in more detail. I looked at him oddly, and asked him " What do you mean? And why are you examining your brothers hair so closely?" To which my illustrious son turns and picks up the bottle of valerian and reads it off to me " Well mommy, it says Valerian ROOT". ... ...... I looked at him rather dumbfounded for a moment.. then put 2 and 2 together and promptly bust a gut laughing. I couldn't explain to him EXACTLY what valerian was for in this case, but I assured him that it was NOT for his younger brothers roots. Okay, maybe not the most amusing unless you know my kids and the insanely esoteric conversations I get to have with them, but at the very least, y'all can APPRICIATE the humor. I'm STILL giggling about it. Current Mood: amused

(1 comment | Leave a comment)

08:00 am - Ganked because it ROCKED http://www.f-ckingc-nts.com/ramble/10-things-every-adult-should-know Current Mood: amused

(Leave a comment)

February 17th, 2008

08:21 am - Ganked from 'brina You Are 86% Burned Out You are extremely burned out. You work too hard, and you're not getting the results you deserve. It's time for a life change, as soon as you can manage it. You're giving away most of your energy to something you don't even enjoy. Are You Burned Out? YA THINK? :P Current Mood: amused

(Leave a comment)

February 1st, 2008

(4 comments | Leave a comment)

January 22nd, 2008

08:08 pm - You know I might have some issues with SOME aspects of my relationship with my lifemate, but then he goes and does somthing that reminds me WHY I love him and why I'm willing to deal with the occasional bout of BS. He comes home this afternoon from pick up the kids and the two boys come flying up the stairs with a " we got you a surprise, Mommy"... and hubby comes up behind... With a new housecoat/slipper set. His reason: " well, the other one was starting to look a little ratty, I thought you'd like this one,. it's the same fabric as those socks you actually like." Now, considering that the last housecoat I got was the one I bought FOR MYSELF from money my mother gave me, was 8 and a half years ago, when I first got pregnant with 2 of 5. The fact that my lifemate noticed, cared or even thought to do somthing THAT simple and sweet is exactly why I love him. And why I put up with the farting, the wierd humor and the oddness that IS our relationship. Side note: it's sooooooooooooo squishy and soft and fuzzy and snuggly and a nice light green. Current Mood: spoiled

(3 comments | Leave a comment)

January 21st, 2008

08:17 am - It occured to me that if your deleted items folder on your email actually hits a number like 20968 deleted items, you REALLY should empty it, and in retrospect, should have emptied it LONG before now. Current Mood: amused

(1 comment | Leave a comment)

January 11th, 2008

02:10 pm I'll try really hard not to vent too heavily here, but I wanted to bring some information to your attention in the hopes that it will save at least ONE person the same grief and disgust I am presently having to deal with. My darling dog of 13 years died last night. I was woken up to the husband telling me that he needed me up, that Magoo had died during the night and we needed to head the kids off before they saw. Now, keeping the death quiet from them was needed, as they have school today and I wasn't going to destroy that for the 4 that are in school. After taking the kids to buses, hubby returned home to assist with disposal. Magoo was taken to Calgary North, and the hubby was charged $144 and change for a simple cremation. I didn't know about this until about an hour ago. It SHOULD have been much cheaper than that. I started calling around, starting with Calgary North to ask them to break it down and justify the $144. Then to other clinics, some of which are "sistered" to Calgary North, some that use the Humane Society as the cremation site, and some that do not. Calgary North: $144 Marlbourough ( a sister clinic): $120 Calgary Humane Society: $50 Sunridge: $50 and change. Now, Calgary North and Marl. both use the Humane Society for cremation, Sunridge does not. I called the Canadian Vet Assn., the provncial branch and a couple other numbers. I was initally told by Calgary North that their prices are dictated by the SPCA, as to what THEY charge the clinic for disposal. Then, upon confronting them about the SPCA charging them only slightly higher than $50, and asking them to justify the $100 differance, they told me that their prices are handed down to them by the AVA and then they mark up as needed. Which I found interesting considering that I had JUST gotten off the phone with the AVA and was told flat out that they CANNOT monitor or set prices for vet services under federal guidelines. Someone outright LIED to me there, and 3 guesses who I'm picking. THEN from Calgary North I get the standard rhetoric about " it's a 24 hour clinic, so our prices reflect the money needed to keep it open 24 hours and " exceptional quality of care from start to finish" ". Of course, I have NO recourse regarding MY situation, and they can try to justify it all they like. However, what it amounts to ( and forgive my callousness here) is " Hey, your dearly loved dog died so we're going to charge you $150 bucks to wrap him in a garbage bag and toss him in a freezer for a week unitl the next pick up, where he'll get tossed into a van with 50 other dog-cicles and taken to the SPCA where some shlep that gets paid 5 bucks an hour will uncerimoniously lob him into a big oven, but HEY!!! we have GREAT care, consideration, empathy and so forth for you and your dog, and while your interact tries to come up with the $150, can we offer to kick you in the teeth as well? It's all part of the " exceptional quality of care" service we offer" ( yeah, that was the "rant" part of this) So please, if you need your pet taken care of, euthinized, cremated... Please PLEASE don't get screwed in the ear like I did. Really, I'm not posting this for sympathy, in fact, I'd be happier just forgetting it's all happened, I simply do NOT want anyone else to have to suffer and hurt and feel as betrayed as I do right now by the very people we're supposed to TRUST to take care of our animals. For whoever is in charge of pricing services at Calgary North, it's about the MONEY, not about the animals or the people that have them, care for them and love them. Current Mood: infuriated

(6 comments | Leave a comment)

January 10th, 2008

07:46 am - WOOT! http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22578679/from/ET/?gt1=10755 I'm on board with this. Completely. It's nice to see that there IS a little common sense and more than a handful of people willing to actually PARENT their kids, no matter how old. Y'all know my rants, and blissfully, I've surrounded myself with folks ( parents ) that actually put in the effort, but the world as a general rule, sucks at it. This mom, however, rocks my freaking socks. Freaking POETIC. Current Mood: pleased

(2 comments | Leave a comment)

January 9th, 2008

(1 comment | Leave a comment)

January 4th, 2008

07:43 am - I gotta say, this is one of the better versions of the bible I've ever heard..... http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Exodus_8 Oh and my 4 older kids are all lolcat addicts now. During yesterday's cleaning binge, they were rewarded with 15 pages of lolcats after preforming some chores, then back to them till the next " break ". Beats the heck out of offering them sugary treats as reward. IF you can stand to have 4 kids laughing in your ear.... Current Mood: amused

(2 comments | Leave a comment)

January 2nd, 2008

08:44 am - *LOUD GRUMBLE* Does anyone know anything about Windows Live? Freaking thing is pissing me off. It decided to crap out in a serious way, resulting in a uninstall and reinstall. Now, I go to the WLM site and download the current version. The version installed on my machine is 4.7, not the 8.whatever it's at now. The wierd ass thing about it is: After fighting with it to get the 8.whatever version installed, with no success, I left it up and running over a couple hours and came back to find the NEWER version running... nobody did anything to it. Last night, it hangs so I reboot, and the 4.7 version starts up again. ANY SUGGESTIONS? Current Mood: aggravated

(Leave a comment)

December 28th, 2007

(1 comment | Leave a comment)